Chapter-1 Going to Class.
Hello there, if you are reading this you are probably an Otis student or you are bored and somehow this seemed interesting, in any case welcome to this small guide to surviving your senior year at Otis (it might apply to other design schools) This guide was written from the point of view of an Interactive Product Design graduate, so there.
If I made it, damn right you will make it.
The first thing to take into consideration is Senioritis which is the conjunction of symptoms usually associated to being a senior. which include chronic procrastination, lack of motivation, a drop in academic performance, and "coasting," which is the act of going through classes with very little concentration or application of intent.
Seniorities: usually includes syntoms like facebook addiction, an increase on the size of your testicles due not giving a fuck (symptom only visible on males, girls just tend to hear white noise when teacher is around) Increase on academic warnings in mailbox and usually anxiety towards the end of the semester.
An important thing about senior year is attendance, since it tends to decrease to the point of total class abandonment. Going to class is hard because there are a million reasons why not to go to class, but in the end you will be hurt, mostly in the grades and also when midterms roll around and you have no idea what the damn exam is asking.
How to deal:
Go to class, even if it hurts. dealing with attendance is easy by finding ways to keep yourself in class:
1-Never look at the damn clock, the clock is your mortal enemy, I myself would put stuff on my desk to block my view from an accidental stare at the clock. It also helps to use a post-it or tape in the corner of your laptop so you don't look at the clock. Take off your watch or tape over it and draw a happy face on the tape, this will keep you entertained and might make you smile when you accidentally look for the time and find this handsome fella staring at you and smiling. If someone asks for the time block your ears or yell so you dont accidentally hear it. Punching the person who asks for the time is not advisable but can be done. Always remember: THE MORE YOU LOOK AT THE CLOCK, THE SLOWER TIME WILL PASS.
2- keep legos under your desk to entertain yourself, challenge yourself to making a human form out of legos, the closest you get to human the faster class will end. If you dont have legos learn a couple of origami shapes and repeat them using each possible piece of paper you come across, including syllabus.
Honorable mentions: buy starbursts and share with everyone in class but ask for the paper back, if you can fold 1000 cranes you will live forever which is better than passing that class.
3- paying attention is very important. If you find it impossible you can fake it; whenever your teacher finishes a sentence, nod, also you might want to say "mhh-hm" every sixth to tenth sentence, this gives the appearance that you not only understand but agree. Stare at your teacher until your stares cross, then see who can hold it longer, you might want to keep score on a little paper, this can also be used with your classmates if they are seated between your teacher and yourself. not recommended with classmates behind you because you will just be staring away from the lecture. Fail.
If you have a laptop, it is possible for you to surf the internet, but before you do that remember a couple of hints, the quick way to close a window in case your teacher comes around is (alt+F4) on PC and (shift + command+ W) on MAC if shit is getting intense always use command+Q this will close the program you are in. if you have more than one tab open you will be asked if you want to save your session, if this happens you have failed, use only one window/tab when doing the internet in class. You might also want to take a screenshoot of your desktop with some word file open on it so you can quickly shift to that picture and it will seem like you are taking notes. Teachers will rarely look at your notes, and if they plan to, stare at them with the might of a penguin in mating season, this will scare them away in a primal way.
If you don't happen to have a computer, bring a notebook with sudoku pages inside. it will look like you are taking notes and concentrating hard. Whenever you need to add numbers do it in our head while you stare at your teacher, for fucks sake dont count with your fingers.
4-remember that you plan on not paying attention or taking notes, you should become buddies with someone who does. But dont be a fuckin ass and remember to buy that person a drink or candy every once in a while.
5-If all else fails drink. Remember to keep your alcohol in a regulated container. Vodka pretty much looks like water so that's easy, if you are going to be a pussy and can't drink it straight without making a scene you can mix it with something else, and depending on the final color you can pick a different container, these are suggestions:
a) vodka- water bottle
b) whiskey - Ice Tea bottle
c) rum - water bottle or ice tea bottle depending on color (duh)
d) vodka cran - Vitamin Water or cranberry juice bottle. extra points for recycling.
e) beer - apple cider bottle (unless you like guiness, then you can use a soy sauce container, although people may become suspicious from seeing you drink soy sauce)
6- Most people enjoy the good effects of marijuana and sometimes need it to cope with school, this is a troublesome one for two reasons: Smell and Stupidity
The Smell can only be covered with something stronger. cigarette smoke; if you dont smoke just hang around the smoking area for a couple minutes. Male Musk; yeah it's art school so find yourself that guy who has not taken a shower for weeks and hang to him like he is Jesus. This can also work with a prissy girl who wears fucklots of perfume.
Chemicals; if you are lucky to be in PD or Toy, you probably work with resins and plastics, so you dont need a cover-up smell, just dont go lighting a match too close to yourself.
The Stupidity part is harder to hide. You can always explain the red eyes and highness by explaining this is your third day without sleep, lotsa projects y'know??
The problems start with the stupid laughing and giggling during class, then you might be in trouble. If this happens pretend nosebleed and run to the bathroom to laugh if off, dont forget to put some toilet paper in your nose when you come back to the classroom (legitpoints.) Another problem you can find is getting in deep conversations with your teacher about finding the reason to the universe and shit like that. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HOLD A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR TEACHER NO MATTER HOW FUCKING SMART YOU THINK YOU ARE, not even if you really really have figured it all out, just shut up. In this scenario it pays to have a good friend around who will punch you in the ribs if you start talking, it might hurt but you will be thankful afterwards.